


i want them back (the minds we had)

by stfu_hazza



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst, Based on a Lorde Song, Drabble, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Growing Up, Growing Up Together, M/M, References to Depression, Teen Angst, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 10:47:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13188474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stfu_hazza/pseuds/stfu_hazza
Summary: "Still, while Eddie thinks how much he loves him, a small voice lures him back to the fact that his pants still contain a permanent stain, or how Richie’s hair lays flat on his forehead again. He thinks about how in two months Eddie will leave for college, yet Richie still lays clueless underneath him."or,,,where Eddie's ready to grow up while Richie's still hanging on.





	i want them back (the minds we had)

**Author's Note:**

> So this is pretty much full of angst. This is based of Lorde’s Ribs here’s a link to the song if you haven’t heard it. this aged up they are 18 in this and there is drinking and mentions of depression (i mean its not explicitly stated but there’s symptoms like hopelessness and non stopping sadness) but their is also some fluff and cute stuff. Honestly I don’t even know what this is but I hope y’all like it and if there’s any errors i apologize.

_The drink you spilt all over me, “Lover’s Spit” left on repeat._

Eddie closes his eyes, taking a long deep breath to contain his annoyance and disbelief at the fact that he currently sits in liquor that just seconds prior swayed in Richie’s water bottle. He ignores Richie’s slurred apologetic remarks as he raises himself up from the floor to get himself some paper towels. Eddie understands the incapability of the towels to evoke any change on the fact that his pants are ruined, but he angrily scrubs away at the dark stain anyway. As he gives up trying to get rid of the mocking mess, he hears Richie sing along to the song that plays through the small speaker. Eddie wonders if Richie knows this same song has been playing since Eddie walked through his own front door…he doesn’t care enough to ask. The song mocks Eddie too. It mocks him with memories of Richie and him singing it in the car with the windows down, or slow dancing in the middle of Eddie’s kitchen with his head against Richie’s chest, or sharing innocent kisses on Richie’s roof as the first snow slowly falls gently on top of their head, or as background music for their first fight over Richie’s lack of ambition and inability to converse in a deep conversation about their future. And now the song mocks Eddie as he walks back into the living room with a drunk Richie on the couch staring blankly at the ceiling. Eddie sighs.

_My mom and dad let me stay home, it drives you crazy, getting old._

Eddie’s mom left for a trip with her friends, surprisingly letting Eddie stay home so he wouldn’t miss out on school work. With the house to himself, he invited Richie over, thinking they could watch movies and cuddle; however, Richie’s idea differed slightly. So here they sit, Eddie’s pants in ruins, Richie’s words in jumbles, and no cuddling or movies. Eddie sits beside Richie looking up at the ceiling as well. He wants to ask Richie bout “them”, their plans for after graduation which arrives in only two months, but he holds back. Eddie’s energy cannot handle another silly fight, he simply wants to feel the feeling they shared back when Richie took Eddie’s hand for the first time, or when Eddie leaned in for a kiss as their friends cheered. The idea of growing old terrifies the both of them, but Eddie accepts it while Richie fights back trying everything in his might to stop it. Eddie turns his head to face Richie, the love of his life since the age of ten, the boy who loves him back just the same.

 _We can talk it so good, We can make it so divine, We can talk it good, How you wish it would be all the time_.

“Babe,” Eddie’s voice cracks due the sadness that lodged itself in his throat. Richie turns to face Eddie with a large crooked smile. His glasses fail to hide the red that surround his eyes or his flushed cheeks. “Yes, honey?” Richie slurs rolling himself over so the space between the two lessens and that Eddie smells the alcohol radiate off him; he grimaces. Staring into Richie’s familiar eyes, Eddie feels at home. He reaches up to Richie’s forehead to brush away the curls that found themselves out of place, “You got hair in your eyes,” he says, letting his hand linger on Richie’s cheek, who leans into the warmth of the touch. “You are beautiful Eddie Kaspbrak, the most beautiful thing I have ever had the pleasure to lay my eyes upon. Not only are you beautiful, but you are my everything. Everything I tell you,” Richie says closing the gap between the two to wrap his arms around Eddie’s small frame and place his face in the comfort on Eddie’s chest. Eddie temporarily forgets their fights and the emptiness.

_This dream isn’t feeling sweet, We’re reeling through the midnight streets_

Richie loves Eddie. He reassures both Eddie and himself constantly. The feelings of Eddie next to him slows his rapid heartbeat and uneven breathing. He knows he’s drunk, he feels the room spinning around him, and his lips tingle with warmth. Unfortunately, he still detects the sadness surrounding him, the same sadness that follows him everywhere he goes. The sadness that lurks in Eddie’s eyes when he spilt his drink on him earlier, or when he took a joke a little too far that one time, or when he refused to confront their inevitable end as a couple. He thinks of the awful taste in his mouth and the sudden lack of air in the large room. As Richie tears himself from Eddie’s comforting grasp, he spurts out the idea of a walk, “Yeah, Eds let’s go for a walk. We haven’t gone on one of those in God knows how long.” Eddie agrees, but Richie hears the slightly aggravated sigh as he pushes himself of the couch. Richie wants to cry, but instead he laughs as he put on his shoes. The summer night wind tickles Richie as he grabs a hold of Eddie’s hand, he barely holds back. Clouds hide the stars and the moon, and Richie regrets even leaving the house in the first place. Richie feels himself losing control and hope, and the bitter taste still haunts his mouth.

_And I’ve never felt more alone, It feels so scary getting old._

What exactly is the point of growing old? Richie thinks to himself as he kicks a random rock from the road. He sees how his parents act, the stress they forgo, the fights they endure. Richie sees no fun in being miserable. Richie looks at Eddie and sees the ten year old that he befriended one day on the playground, he sees the boy who failed to contain his excitement every Christmas, or the boy who blushes every time Richie mentions how beautiful he is. But now, he sees a boy who looks forward without even acknowledging Richie’s existence. The streets look empty and the wind stopped, as if the whole world disappeared. Everything left Richie, just as he knew it would. He wishes to be taken back to when he was a kid so full of hope and life and love full of innocence and ignorance. “God growing up fucking sucks,” he whispers so that only he could hear the words bounce back into his ears, drunk and full of remorse.

We can talk it so good, We can make it so divine, We can talk it good, How you wish it would be all the time.

“Remember our first kiss,” Eddie says and Richie’s world starts to spin again, the wind begins to blow, and the pressure of Eddie’s hand resuscitates Richie’s heartbeat; his everything. “Of course I do,” and Richie reminisces the time all the losers sat in a small circle on Stan’s bedroom floor playing a silly game of truth or dare. Everyone knew Richie developed the biggest crush on Eddie, and supposedly Eddie shared the same feelings, so they continued to push their relationship that night. “You were too cute that night,” Richie smiles and takes Eddie’s hand to place an innocent kiss which causes Eddie to blush like back when they were kids. “Says you,” Eddie starts, “your hair was so short then,” he stops walking causing Richie to follow. Eddie pulls Richie closer and he leans up to place a peck on Richie’s nose. “What are you saying Eds? I thought you liked my longer locks?” Richie whispers into Eddie’s ear as he trails down Eddie’s neck leaving traces of kisses. “Of course I do loser.” This makes Richie smile into Eddie’s neck. “Good.” Richie pulls away and he looks into his boyfriend’s eyes. If only he could stay in this moment forever, if only time would just stand still.

_I want them back, the minds we had, how all the thoughts, moved ‘roud our head._

The night’s nearing its end as Eddie and Richie arrive back to the house. Eddie’s feet started to ache, so he convinced Richie to carry him back, creating the perfect opportunity for Richie to throw him onto Eddie’s bed. Richie follows and initiates a tickle fight by pinning Eddie causing him to laugh and laugh and laugh like back when they were kids. As Eddie catches his breath, Richie lays himself next to him. Eddie instantly gravitates to Richie, allowing himself to get comfortable against his familiar stature. Eddie takes in everything around him, how the scent of alcohol no longer attacks his senses, but now Richie’s steady breathing and heartbeat let him forget the events from earlier. Still, while Eddie thinks how much he loves him, a small voice lures him back to the fact that his pants still contain a permanent stain, or how Richie’s hair lays flat on his forehead again. He thinks about how in two months Eddie will leave for college, yet Richie still lays clueless underneath him. Eddie experiences deja-vu as he closes his eyes of all the other times he laid in the exact same spot with Richie, the different conversations that used to evoke the strongest emotions from Eddie. Now they lay in complete silence.

 _You’re the only friend I need, Sharing beds like little kids, laughing till our ribs get tough, but that will never be enough_.

Richie adores Eddie’s laugh, Eddie’s bed, Eddie’s warmth, and Eddie’s company. Richie adores Eddie. He convinces himself that Eddie is the only person Richie needs. As Richie plays with Eddie’s hair, he listens as his breath gets slower and heavier, and soon becomes a steady snore. Richie decides to watch Eddie rather than sleep his own self since he doesn’t know how long he has. Richie understands that their time is limited. Eddie will leave him for college, Richie knows this, and knows not to fight it especially since he wants Eddie to follow his dreams. Richie knows Eddie’s future excludes Richie, that’s why he refuses to talk about it. The present includes Eddie, and that’s enough for Richie as of now. When the time comes, Richie will face the situation head on, but for now Richie would much rather admire his beautiful boy that sleeps in his arms, mouth slightly ajar, and eyebrows furrowed as they always are when he’s in a deep sleep. Richie adores Eddie’s laugh, Eddie’s bed, Eddie’s warmth, and Eddie’s company. Richie adores Eddie, but he's learned his everything ends up being temporary. 


End file.
